Dale and I have clear set goals for our own future and our future together…
And here’s mine.
I believe it’s healthy for anybody who isn’t or is in a relationship to have set goals and ambitions in there life. It makes for a healthier person and a more fruitful future. When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to respect and support each other in those goals and ambitions, even if they have a low possibility of being accomplished. Dale and I have shared ours, some only far off dreams that we can only hope to one day achieve. We were actually surprised when we were sharing them to discover that our dreams and hopes for the future are pretty much identical.
My Career ambitions are very varied and I think they always will be. Although, I have always set my heart on owning my own Café crossed with an Art Gallery, where I can sell my own works and the works of others. I currently study Illustration at University, which is going to take up the next two years of my life, but hopefully will also set me up for a steady move into different aspects of the Art Industry; which section, I don’t know yet. What’s great about Dale, is that even though we’ll miss each other lots, and be about 50-60 miles away from each other 4/5 days a week, he says he’s prepared to wait for me so that I can finish my University.
When you’re getting into a relationship, it’s a careful balance between prioritising each others hopes and dreams. If your partner isn’t willing to wait while you complete something that could help you achieve your future; they are thinking more of themselves, rather than you.
Myself and Dale have talked about me possibly transferring to a closer University (not just so I’m closer to Dale, but also so I’m closer to home and people I know – me being an introvert and everything), but decided that since I only have two years left, so i would be transferring just before my final year, it would put too much stress on me for my last year.
My family life ambitions are that I would love to be married within the next five years, and maybe planning or ‘pricing up’ for a newbie at the end of them five years. Of course that could all change depending on circumstances, but that’s my hopes. First, lets finished education and sort myself out that way.
As a couple, Dale and I have talked about our hopes as a possible future couple together. Mutually, we have agreed on a time period that we would like to accomplish things, but again, that all depends on circumstances.
Do I hope to marry Dale? Of course I do. Like I’ve said in previous posts; I’ve grown up with the inclination of dating with the prospect of marriage, and I think Dale would make a wonderful husband. Already he demonstrates idyllic husband-like qualities; he takes care of me; he tries to care for my family; if I’m tired, he prioritises my rest before anything we do together (he’s let me sleep on his shoulder so many times while he occupies himself with his laptop); he prioritises my goals in life and he buys me flowers and chocolates (Yep… I scored BIG TIME!).
If your a girl, and your boyfriend buys you flowers and chocolates, he is a definite keeper! And I don’t mean some pansy small box of chocolates with six minuscule nibbles in. I mean a big box of Cadbury’s ‘Heroes’. If he tells you not to share them (like Dale did today) DO NOT LET THAT BOY GO!
But what do I worry about for the future?
I’ve always struggled with motivation in my past, which has resulted in me not doing well in things which I should be able to achieve almost perfect for. So my biggest and foremost worry is that, because of my own lack of motivation and self encouragement, is that I won’t do things for myself and in turn for Dale, which could potentially harm our future. It’s not just motivation with Uni work, it’s motivation with socialising, keeping up friends and even just getting dressed in the morning (Dale saw me so gracefully in my slacks today looking like I’d just rolled out of bed).
My other very small unfounded worry is about how smooth – or ‘normal’ for want of a better word – will my future be with Dale. I think this is a mutual worry between us. I think it’s a worry with every couple. My worry is less of “What limits will there be?” but more of “Could I do something with could hurt Dale in such a way he won’t love me anymore?”. We have addressed this so many times between us. For those of you who read my post yesterday, you would have read about Dale’s fear of me leaving him. I have the same fear.
As Dale has revealed before, he had a mental breakdown some ten years ago, and one of my biggest fears is that I’ll be the cause for him becoming seriously ill again. He knows this fear and he’s reassured me that he won’t let himself get that ill again, but nevertheless, it is still a fear that somehow I’ll wound him so badly, that I’ll set him back. In fact, I remember there was one night (sometime after the op) that Dale forgot one of his medications due to exhaustion, and I didn’t freak, but I did slightly worry about the effects it would have. Not because I fear the ‘non-medicated’ Dale, but because I do slightly worry whether he would be able to cope (Dale’s brain works a lot faster than NT brains, which can sometimes cause a ‘Sensory Overload’ or something similar because of the rush of information coming into the brain and the difficulty of processing it all). However, apart from being a bit more hyper than usual, he was pretty much the normal Dale.
Imagine Pinkie Pie from ‘My Little Pony’, just with a lot more Sugar and a lot more e-numbers. If you don’t understand the reference, please follow this link: ‘Pinkie Pie’ or ‘Dale’
So what are your ambitions for the future? And if you’re in a relationship, what are your ‘couple ambitions’?
See you in the next post 🙂