Anxiety doesn’t make a person week but makes them a stronger person then I will ever be.
Dale has Anxiety. I have to say, I dread when Dale messages me saying that he’s not having a good day and last week and this week his anxiety (which he has told me about) has been mainly about our relationship.
It’s been a difficult couple of weeks and the hardest has been the last and this week. Last week I was expressing my feelings to him about my exhaustion over working, university and travelling here, there and everywhere (I work in my home town which is about 50mi away from my Uni City, so every friday I drive back home mainly just for work). I hardly get to see anybody, including my family and I haven’t been to church since I started university because of my job. It’s incredibly frustrating.
And then Sunday I had a very bad day at work. I was supposed to meet Dale after work but because I wasn’t in a great mood, had a headache and also was exhausted, I decided to not meet with him. I just wanted to come home, eat dinner and do absolutely nothing. I had had enough. He had tried messaging me all of Sunday, even offering to call me, but because I just wasn’t in a good mood, I just wanted to finish and go home. I didn’t want to do anything.
Monday, I met with Dale after he came home from work in London. All we did was watched Netflix, and fell asleep in each others arms on the sofa, while watching Netflix (I went home around 10:30… so I didn’t stay late… I was shattered). We hadn’t talked much over text message all day (I was sorting out my car; fixing it and replacing some things and he was a work; he’s just started a new project). He did text me that he had to take a walk because he was having a bad moment, but because I was driving I was driving, I couldn’t talk to him.
When we got to his, he made me a cup of coffee in a new mug which he had bought for me because I had had a bad day Sunday. It was a Harley Quinn mug… I love my boy.
While we were together, Dale voiced an anxiety he had had all day, and it pained me to hear it. His anxiety was telling him that we were growing distant and that we were steadily beginning to grow apart. When in fact, I feel the complete opposite. We know each pretty damn well and I think the distance is only showing us how much we desperately miss each other when apart. And I do. I miss cuddling him, telling him that I love him in person, hearing his laugh etc. It feels like 1000 years between seeing each other and then a couple of seconds spending time with each other.
But I also had a breakthrough Monday. I stared Dale and Anxiety in the face and told Anxiety to take a hike. Because I had fallen asleep on Dales shoulder and was still fairly tired when I had to go home, Dale was worried that I wouldn’t be okay driving. Last time he was making scenarios up in his head in which I fell asleep at the wheel (something I haven’t done), in which when I text him to let him know I was home (something I always do), Dale told me he was worried.
Well, Monday, I told him to promise me he wouldn’t get worried. Of course, he didn’t because he takes his promises very seriously, but I did tell him (not ask) to not let his anxiety get him this time. Quite surprisingly it worked. I got home, messaged him I was home, and I received a reply that he wasn’t worried that time. I doubt I can do that with other anxieties, but it worked in that instance and I’m grateful.
Super-Awesome-Girlfriend Saves the Day!