If there’s anything that I can say is true about Dale and Me, it’s that we are so different, but so alike it’s unbelievable.
For example the differences; I hate Maths, Dale loves Maths; I’m an introvert, Dale’s and Extrovert; I love DC Comics, Dale loves Marvel Comics; I go with Apple, Dale goes with Windows/Microsoft/Android. The similarities; We’re both Christian, have the same ideas, have the same aspirations, want [the same number of] children, like the same food, we both enjoy video games and we both play musical instruments.
However, it wasn’t always like that. In fact, when we first began dating, we almost didn’t show who we really were for fear of rejection by the other person. There were certain things we liked or did or do which we kept hidden from the other because we were unsure what the other would think about them.This isn’t an uncommon thing to happen in relationships, but I think it has taken quite a lot of effort, not for the other to accept the other, but for us to accept ourselves. I’m not talking about Asperger’s in this sense, because Dale and I embrace that wholeheartedly.
One of my biggest issues is independency. It’s not that I don’t want to depend on Dale, but it’s that I don’t want to seem so dependant that Dale feels suffocated by me, so I try to do things on my own and just do it by myself. At the moment I’m struggling with money, so I’m picking up as many hours as I can get at work so I can afford rent, bills and my car (MOT is this month and petrol). Dale has offered to pay towards or for some of the expenses, but so far I haven’t accepted anything, and I probably won’t until we’re married. It’s not that I don’t want to share what’s [at the moment] mine with him. It’s that I don’t want to burden him with things which he won’t see the benefit of.
That is except for the car; which he does get use of quite a lot of the time (on my offer). Oh and my phone when he decides to log into my Facebook and post statuses.
I don’t want to depend on him so much to the point where I lose him. That’s inconceivable in my mind. An impossibility for me. I keep all my burdens locked away so they won’t bother him.
Another thing about me (which Dale has quite recently had a lot of it to deal with) which I try to disguise is that I’m incredibly emotional. My mum says it’s because I ‘wear my heart on my sleeve‘. When I was away at University, I was under a lot of stress resulting in me becoming depressed quite quickly. I was away from home and struggling even more with money because I was out of work for two weeks (while I was transferring between restaurants) and being on just-above minimum wage, that impacted my wages in a very worrying way. I would cry to my mum over the phone, nearly cry in front of my housemates, and when Dale would call me, cry to him too. For nearly five weeks, Dale and my parents was my rock.
I try my hardest to keep my emotions in check, not because I’m Spock or Sherlock and think emotions are a weakness. I think it’s more because everyone thinks of me as a happy bubbly person and quite strong hearted. My Boss in Brighton has been given me certain shifts because she thinks that I can cope with it emotionally, and I can, but only because I’m literally a humorous smiling Spock at work. But when I have off days, they are seriously ‘all switches and button set to off’ days. I don’t have that wall or the filter that helps keep my words or thoughts in check (not that I have that anyway).
I keep my emotions hidden and appear the strong woman on the outside, because nobody wants a blubbering-waterfall-of-emotions girlfriend.
When Dale and I first started dating, Dale kept some of his obsessions a secret from me, in case I thought he was a mad man. Of course, I still think he is a mad man and a complete weirdo, but I wouldn’t change him for the world. My bearded-mad-obsessive-aspie weirdo.
I know we haven’t done much blogging or whatever, but in truth we haven’t had much to write about. We could write about what we’ve had for dinner, but in all honestly that would be boring. It’s also been difficult as I haven’t actually seen Dale that much over the last few months, which has been difficult.
On a whole, things are looking up. Nine Months into the relationship, my family are seeming to finally be accepting Dale as my Boyfriend and pretty much their potential son-in-law. I can safely say I finally feel at ease with everything.
Dale and I technically didn’t spend Christmas together, which was a shame, but we really did like what we bought each other. Dale bought me a Ukulele (and not a bad one at all) and I bought him a Vinyl Record Player, my family buying him a two records that he liked. It was our first proper christmas, and I can’t wait to actually spend a Christmas ‘Day’ with him, even if it’s just for a few hours.
Next milestone is Valentines Day, which apparently Dale is thinking about. Then it’s my first Birthday (I’ll be 21) being with Dale, then our One Year (on the 29th March) and then Dale’s 30th Birthday. So it’s a big year for both of us.
Here’s to a love-filled 2016, filled with blessings and surprises that will make this year memorable!
Happy New Year Guys!