I’ve just started a new job which is 100% different to the whole waitressing gig. 

I’m now working as Centre Manager/Teacher/Teaching Assistant at a Learning Centre which supports children who are home schooled; either because they can’t cope with mainstream school because of learning difficulties or other various reasons. I work at two separate locations; one location I am a Centre Manager and at the other I’m a Teaching Assistant. One is technically more hands on in regards to interacting with the students, but because of the size of the learning centres, both are pretty much the same.

Monday and Tuesday were completely different from today, mainly for reasons of it being in a completely different location, the other being completely different students.

I have taught Chinese, assisted in English lessons, not so much maths or science lessons as I’m not that confident in them subjects myself, so I feel as much of a student as my students.

Each child has their background and each child has their reasons for being homeschooled.

And they are, undoubtedly, amazing kids! They are so involved and so eager to learn, that in fact at my centre, they want to get involved in teaching! Some are quieter than others, but never-the-less are definitely a part of the crazy goings-on at the learning centre.

At one of the Learning Centres we have one student who I’m definitely looking out for. 

Under the Child Protection Act I am not to reveal the gender, age, name or locations of where specific children attend. I’m also not to go into detail of their histories as that is purely their business.

They have Autism. For the sake of this story, I’m going to call them Patty. It’s a little more serious than Dale, as they physically cannot stand touch or even sitting next to someone. At first they were a little shy, but very soon started to get involved, joining in a game of Rounders, 1 Truth 1 Lie and many other games that we play. They wanted to be very involved, very often trying to answer all the questions in the lesson or wanting to assist the teacher by writing on the board etc.

At the end of the day, when the students were about to go home, we played ‘Duck Duck Goose’. Now, this game can involve touching as it requires a child to walk round a circle of other children, patting their heads saying ‘duck’ until they decide on one child, saying ‘goose’ and then they have to run around the circle, trying to catch the ‘ducker’. While setting up the game and explaining, I did have to double check with Patty whether they were okay to be patted on their head, which good on them, they told me no. So we arranged that the ‘duck’ would hover over Patty’s head instead of tapping their head.

It was amazing to see each student go round the circle, patting everyones head and when getting to Patty, seemingly without thinking just hovered over their head.

There was once in the game, when a younger child (a younger sibling of a student) didn’t realise and did pat Patty on the head, which I did see Patty’s face drop. I didn’t want them to leave the game so I did keep an eye making sure they were okay.

And absolutely fantastically, Patty stayed in the game.

We then silently communicated that when a younger child was the ‘duck’, Patty would move into the circle to avoid being ‘duck’ed which they were happy to do.

I really really hope I see Patty again, if anything to see them grow. They are an amazing child, not afraid to let us know what they need to go about their business. In a sense I admire them. I’m not sure whether I’ll see Patty tomorrow but hopefully definitely next week!

Well Done Patty!


The Learning Centre is definitely an amazing organisation to be a part of. At normal School, children can be so vicious and sometimes very cold to one another. Here, they have a mutual respect for one another, and easily accommodate each others needs. Mainstream School, children see the differences and pick on them. This Learning Centre, the children seem to see the differences, and go “okay, this person is different, and that’s okay!”

It truly is a fresh sight to see, especially when I was seriously bullied at school myself!

I guess one of the benefits of dating an Aspie, is that they are FOREVER loyal and faithful to one thing. That doesn’t mean they don’t experiment or cope with using other alternative subjects though.

Dale is a self proclaimed Tea Snob, and there is one tea shop which he is undyingly loyal to. He even has his own mug there that when he goes in, the Tea Baristas serve the tea in. This little shop is Bluebird Tea co. They serve all sorts of tea, matcha, green and even some of their own weird blends. Me being a Coffee drinker, I’m not really adventurous in tea, but Dale seems to love it. In fact, he testifies that Bluebird made him the Love Potion Tea around Valentines day about 2 weeks before Dale and I had our first date. He is somewhat adamant that the ‘Love Potion’ got him me (he knows it didn’t, but it is a change coincidence even I have to consider). 

Today, we met up for dinner and during our wonderings through Brighton City Centre, we rocked up at Whittard, which is another Tea/Coffee place. As we were closing in, Dale near enough whispered “Don’t tell bluebird!”. Funny Boy! After buying the tea, he then went on to diss Whittard on pretty much everything, including their tea and big up Bluebird on pretty much everything. (Here, I would just like to point out that going to Whittard was his choice. Not mine!).  I’m not even sure why he goes there?!

Regularly Dale reminds me that he can’t lie, and if he were to ever lie he would physically have the compulsion to admit it and tell the truth. 

That’s why I call him Spock, his catchphrase should be “Aspie’s cannot lie!”. Today, Dale had one of these moments (separate incident to the tea). This moment sent him spiralling into a Panic Attack. Why? Because in a moment of being honest with me, he thought he had lost me and that I would leave him. It was basically a worry about his loyalty/faithfulness so I admit, what he admitted to me was hard to hear and it has taken courage to remember that he chose me, but it took countless times of me reassuring him that what he did was good and that I’m glad he was honest when he could have quite so easily have hushed up about it (it wasn’t too much of a big deal which is why it is was quickly handled).

Sometimes his over-honesty gets on my nerves, like for example, telling the self-checkout till that he’s used 13 plastic bags! (it drives me BESERK!). 

But I guess, I would rather have an over-honest goody two shoes than someone who always keeps secrets from me, and not the good kind.

So there’s been a lot of “I Love You”‘s this evening. 


DISCLAIMER: Dale wasn’t in anyway unloyal/unfaithful… he was just worried about something along them lines.

I think it’s safe to say that the Cochlear Implant has been a true gift and blessing in both mine and Dales life. 

Approximately 1 year ago, Dale had his Cochlear Implant switched on and his (fairly short) journey of learning to hear again started.

If you’re curious about the Implant, this is my testimony of being with an Implant Patient:

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Dale recovering after operation with an Á La Carté Hospital Meal

In the month of May, Dale had finally received his operation date; 16th July 2015. There had been much build up of Anxiety for Dale regarding it, especially since there had been no noise about the operation for months, even though he had been accepted in January. When he was accepted, he took a while to reciprocate the acceptance, having anxiety of the chances of success and chances of hearing music etc. Good on him, he accepted. After he got his date, it started a whole new round of Anxiety about whether he will be well enough to have the operation, whether I’d love him if he came out the other side completely deaf (the operation seriously diminishes natural hearing, and in some cases completely destroys it) and again, whether he’ll be able to hear music. 

 

If there’s one thing I could do over on Op-Day, it would be being able to be with him when he had his cannula (needle) put in. FYI, I’m a needle phobic so it probably wouldn’t have worked well anyway. He was taken away to the operation room and that’s it. Neither mine nor Dales life would be the same. 3 hours later, we were told he was waiting in recovery. 

I admit it, I did cry when I saw him lying there after the operation. He was miles high on anaesthetic and morphine, so he wasn’t all there. He repeatedly asked whether he had the operation and whether it was done. He also tried to sit up quite a few times, which he really couldn’t do. I mean, imagine trying to sit up and do things when you have a concussion. That’s pretty much the same thing. 

Doctors came along and talked to us (mainly me as I was the only one of us hearing and they had no Sign Interpreter for Dale) and explained the aftercare and recovery process. They also explained all the after therapy and the process of learning to hear again. Dale also wanted to pick a bone with the Anaesthesiologist because apparently they told Dale he wouldn’t dream, but he did, so the Anaesthesiologist lied. Oh my silly Aspie. Dale ‘claims’ he remembers saying that, but I honestly don’t believe him. He was higher than cloud 9. 

It wasn’t long before he was wheeled into his overnight room. We met his nurses who would look after him for the night and the following morning. After relieving himself and returning to the bed, he proceeded to ask whether the surgeon had removed his underwear to which the nurse looked dumbfounded, then replied, “Did you not see them when you went to the loo just a second ago?”. Queue much laughter from myself and the nurse when Dale replied, “Oh. Yeah!”. 

1 month later, the Implant was switched on, and Dale began his journey of hearing again. The results were pretty much instant! With some difficulty, Dale could follow conversation better than I had ever known him to. We still had to be patient, and not tire Dale out too much. If he pushed himself too much, Dale could back track all the work he and the audiologists had done and at worse, risk the success of the Cochlear. He began hearing sounds that he had never been capable of hearing before.

Around October/Nov11236449_788711027917776_151337494988221059_oember time, Dale began practising music again. At first, Dale struggled, not because he didn’t like the sound, but because the sound was vastly different that all previous memory of music was distorted and out of tune. Songs he had written, which to his old Acoustic Aid sounded fine, suddenly became droning and horrible sounding. He reworked some of his own compositions to better sound how he imagined. Some he didn’t change, adement that he would learn to hear them how he remembered. I don’t think they still sound exactly like he remembers, but he has learned to like the sounds.

His confidence has sky-rocketed in the last year; he has changed jobs, started a Punk Band and started actively engaging in conversation in group situations.

The Cochlear Implant has drastically changed mine and Dales life for the better and we don’t regret a single moment of it. The Implant has opened Dales life up to so many possibilities; The Implant Company sent him a waterproof Processor so that he can swim without the need to remove the implant, a Mini Mic so that he can listen to his music directly, like headphones wirelessly (pretty much like a personal hearing loop).



Dale has filmed with the Hospital a testimonial video of his journey with the cochlear implant which tells of his struggles and highlights of having the implant. If you would like to see it, watch it below:

If I could put a list together of all of the things Dale was ever anxious about, it would be a mile long and probably repeat and contradict itself numerously. 

Something that tends to be misunderstood is that Asperger’s is a cause of Anxiety/OCD. When I was first getting to know Dale, I was silly enough to think that. I wonder how many other people think that?

Anxiety and OCD is a completely separate diagnosis to Asperger’s, and not every Aspie has them. Dale just so happens to have the whole kit and caboodle. Dale and I both agree that he copes with his Aspergers very well, but that doesn’t mean he still doesn’t have the down days where he can become depressed, wash his hands 20 times in an hour, become anxious over very small things and sometimes have anxiety over them things over and over again.

He does have his bad days and it is very obvious when he is having a bad day.

Dale has his sign posts that let me know ‘I’m not Okay!’.

One way of knowing, is when he rubs his hands together. He used to do this A LOT! In fact, whenever I’d look at him he’d be doing this even if it’s a situation he’d been in before. Then about a year ago, he just seemed to have stopped doing it. Since then, I’ve only seen him do it once; Today (I knew why though. His Cochlea Implant had run out of battery so he was completely deaf… and if there’s one thing Dale absolutely hates, it’s being deaf!).

Another way of me knowing Dale not all there, is when he’s unresponsive. I don’t mean in the sense you can’t talk to him, but when he keeps conversation short. VERY short. When it’s very bad, you can hardly get a word out of him. There’s been times when he’s almost seemed to be given me the cold shoulder. Luckily, I know that it just means ‘I’m processing something’. Eventually he’ll open up to me (mainly when we’re alone in the car or we’ll sign to each other) and let me know. He’ll very often apologise for himself, so he does recognise when he’s being off. One thing I’ve never known him to do, is lose his temper though. He’s very very patient it seems with both me and himself (although I do think he gets frustrated with himself sometimes).

Dale doesn’t withdraw as much as he used to, mostly because he’s trying to force himself to be social, which, rest assured, I do tell him that if he needs to decompress he just needs to let me know and I can either take him home or, if needs be, explain to people if he’s shut himself down; playing on his phone or something. We haven’t quite got to that point yet, so he’s coping well, but I’ll be ready for when he does need to escape.

As mentioned, when Dale isn’t 99.99%, his Anxiety goes at 120mph with no break pedal. It’s almost as if his head searches for things to worry about and to over-exaggerate. When this happens, Dale becomes incredibly tired and again, a little offish (what do you expect when his brain hasn’t given him a moments rest?). Gladly, when he’s having a full on day with Anxiety, when he sees me in the evening I’m able to cheer him up; either by talking the anxieties through with him, or just taking his mind off of the matter. Talking it through works the best I find. Also, surprise gifts cheer him up!

It’s harder to tell when he’s depressed. Mainly because he tends to deal with that in private and I’ve only been aware of him feeling depressed twice in my 1 1/2 years of being with him. I’m not saying that’s the only time he’s been depressed, it’s just the only time I’ve been aware.


If I had any pointers to give to people…

If you’re around people with Aspergers often, I would definitely advise learning their individual behaviours. Not everyone is like Dale, who can be quite verbal with what he is struggling with. Sometimes it’s a matter of trust. At the beginning of our relationship, Dale wouldn’t tell me things because he didn’t want me to think him being stupid or not being a Man. Luckily, Dale and I are in the kind of relationship where trust is very important, but it still had to be earned. I had to prove myself to Dale. It did come easy, but not without some speed bumps.

When they need to decompress or zone out, unless they’re like Dale and don’t mind touch, I would strongly advise to not abuse the situation and give into temptation to hug them. Even with Dale, I don’t hug him when he’s zoned out, and I’m one of Dales ‘safe people’. I’m not saying he would reject my hug if I did, but it would neither help the situation or help him feel better. I limit my touch to either a hand on the knee when it’s serious, which seems to have similar effect to a hug but with limited touch, or when he’s being a mega butt-head (when he’s not completely zoned out, just having a moment) I’ll put my hand on his cheek. That helps keep the situation light-hearted. When he worries about my thoughts about him, I’ll kiss him. I keep to these 3 without really changing them about so he doesn’t have to try and predict what I’m going to do or read into what the touch means.

Keep it real! Don’t flap about with eloquent metaphors or spinning fantasy tales. When Dales out of it, he needs cold hard facts. Things he can understand in plain black and white. Me telling him tall tales of wishy washy hopeful dreams wont bring him back to me sooner. If anything, it will confuse him. Most of the time Dale will prompt my answers through simple yes or no questions i.e “Do I have enough money for this?”, “Will I get ill?”, “I touched… and I didn’t wash my hands, is it hygienic?”. Yes you do, No you wont, Yes it’s fine. Dale can understand that. Not “Well if you save up [x amount of money] and in a couple of months you’ll meet a little man in a green suit who has money and then sure you can afford that” or “Uncooked chicken will make you ill, and because the chef was well trained and all the hygiene laws were observed, I’m sure the chicken wont give you food poisoning” or even “E-coli can travel from toilet seat to your hands, and then if you put your hands in your mouth, then you’ll get e-coli, but because the toilet seat was clean and you only touched it quickly, I’m sure you don’t have e-coli and it’s likely you wont get ill”.

Aspie’s can tell the time, but they can judge the amount of time. So saying in a couple of months it will be fine is a poor choice of words. A couple of months to me means maybe 2/3 months. To Dale, it could mean next year or next month. The uncertainty wont help him either.


So yeah, Sorry, that’s a long one, but we haven’t written in ages and nothing much has happened, however in the next month quite a few things are changing and happening. So hopefully more posts 🙂 

As ever, thank you for reading. We may start keeping daily blogs which will probably be shorter and simply tell the day to day happenings rather then a lengthly boring blog for you to read.

 

Much Love,

Dale and Alli,

Hours and Algebra

Dale and I haven’t really had chances to meet up or talk the last three weeks…

What with all the action with him leaving is old, and starting his new job this week and me working crazy hours and days, and I had three days off last week. Of course we would love to spend 24/7 with each other, but life outside of our relationship gets in the way sometimes. It can be work, daily duties and even people. Yes. Even more so people.

It’s not necessarily been bad on our relationship, because we both understand it’s been hectic the last three weeks but it definitely has been tough not getting as much time together as we would like to.

I miss him. Every second of every hour of every day. Even when I’m with him, I miss him, almost like I’m preparing for the time spent without him, not being able to talk with him. It sounds like I’m a clingy girl to be with, but I think it’s a natural thing to miss someone you love, even if they’re just in the other room.

What I don’t like though, is that we’re talking less than what we did when I was at University (I’m not there anymore due to health reasons) and that’s purely because the kind of job I have. Being a waitress, you don’t even have time to think, let alone text your boyfriend.

I’ve also been fairly down lately as well and being introverted, I’d prefer to just whole up in my bedroom and play a video game by myself. Of course that’s not helped by dealing with grumpy customers and sometimes staff on a weekly basis so that lessens my want to be around humans.

(Random side note: My dog is currently Sleep-Barking. She’s making such cute little ‘Yip’ noises I’m just melting).


Dale came with me babysitting on Friday and one of my duties as babysitter for that evening was to help one of the young ladies with her homework. One was English (which I don’t mind) and the other was Maths (eek!). So, I got Dale off his phone and got him to help with the Maths homework, which I do believe he enjoyed. He seemed quite over-joyed with himself by getting the correct answer on the Area of a Parellelogram (which, being the maths weirdo he is, he went into this whole Algebraic method of working it out… the weirdo). He then tried to convince me on the merits of algebra by explaining ways in with I use algebra on a day to day basis. Safe to say, I’m still not convinced.

I’m proud of my Aspie. He did good!


And that’s how I know this reduced speaking and interacting time isn’t going to be the ‘be all and end all’, because he still makes me proud and makes me love him even more than I already did. 

Anxiety can SUCK IT!

The last few days have been rough. Really rough for Dale and all because of his Evil Nemesis; Anxiety!

Dale is my hero, literally my knight in shining armour. He is my Eric to Ariel, Prince Charming to Snow White and all that cheesy Disney ‘happily ever after’ stuff. But even a Hero Prince has his thorn bush, high tower or evil witch queen to fight.

Dale has Anxiety. Anxiety is the horrible enemy that swallows him whole and takes him prisoner in his own mind. Sometimes he can’t surface few a hours and sometimes days. This week was one of the times that it has taken a few days for him to defeat the beast.

Dale scales his Anxiety from 1 to 10/10 (10/10 meaning time of work). This week it was at a 8/10. Not quite enough for him to have time off work, but enough for him to take a Beta Blocker (medication to slow his heart rate and assist him in calming down, which didn’t work in this instance). The worst part of this for me is learning that he was alone throughout the attack (apart from his trusty sidekick; Charlie the Jack Russell). I was at work, which means I’m quite hard to get to by phone (I work in a restaurant), and his parents wasn’t able to be there in person. He did manage to talk to his dad who is really great at calming him down. But he had no one there in person just to be there, no one just to grab hold of him and help him see it through.

You see, Anxiety is one of these things that saying ‘It’s gonna be okay! You’ll see,” just doesn’t work. You can’t just ‘Get Over It’ and you certainly don’t just ‘Stop worrying’.

I know when I say this I’ll possibly have many Anxiety Hero’s tell me I’m contradicting myself, but when Dale is having a moment of worry, I’ll grab him and tell him to “stop overthinking”. I know it doesn’t stop it, but I do it more so he knows that I know what’s happening in his brain. I’m more attuned to him then what we both realise. 

I can’t stand seeing him hurt. As mentioned before, it’s a massive worry for me. I don’t mean hurt physically (as in cut or broken leg, although that would worry me too), I mean more mentally hurt.

He tried messaging me at work, but I wasn’t able to reply when he needed me most. When I eventually got to my phone to reply, there was a message saying ‘Going to bed x’. Good thing about FB Messenger, it lets you know when that was sent, and it said Now. So in a very desperate manner, I quickly text back and tried to get him. It took about 10 minutes of me worrying, and a few tears that I managed to get him on the phone.

For 10 minutes, I managed to escape the restaurant and speak to him. 10 minutes of listening to what was hurting him. You may think, hearing this while at work would only make me more upset because of not being there with him, but just being able to listen to him voice his worry put me at ease. I was there.

After returning to my job, my boss tried to come talk to me about chores that needed doing. She picked up on the fact that I looked sad and that was it. THE FLOODGATES OF ALLI BROKE! In honesty, I expected her to be annoyed that I had called Dale during work, but she was completely understanding and just told me that he was going to be fine. I wouldn’t say me and my boss are close, but I would definitely regard her as a friend. She tried to cheer me up, and even offered me chocolate which her boyfriend had brought her. Everyone needs a boss like mine. Give a few tears and BAM! Chocolate is in your hand lol. Also, thank goodness for waterproof Mascara and Eyeliner.

Today, I picked him up from the train station and we went to ASDA to go buy him chocolate (chocolate is definitely a miracle worker in this story), and we met my chef friend from work; Anna who also has anxiety. She’s also been battling with Anxiety lately and needs some time to rest and repair her armour (she’s Scottish so she’s hard as freaking nails that one!). When talking to her, even though she was smiling and seemed happy, I wished that she felt better soon and gave her a cuddle. As we walked away Dale said he was really happy that I didn’t just make light of Anxiety as something stupid and treated it as the serious illness that it is. He was proud of me that I didn’t just assume she was well because she was happy and smiling.

I admire people who deal with serious issues such as Anxiety, not because I wish I had anxiety or the like, it’s because I admire the strength and tenacity these people have. They get kicked down repeatedly, but they somehow manage to put a smile on even though they a struggling and hurting. Maybe I should just bring a duvet/blanket and chocolate wherever I go. Would that work?

So at the moment my Hero Prince is dealing with his Kryptonite and I’m just holding his hand throughout the trial…

And I’m not letting him go.

What not to do with an Aspie…

Here’s a list I’ve compiled of things that I’ve learned while dating My Aspie. Dale forever surprises me with the things he does. Sometimes it’s things that I didn’t think he could cope with; things he wouldn’t consider and sometimes it’s just the sheer spontaneity of the gesture (a known characteristic of Asperger’s is the dislike of sudden change of routine or of their ‘normal’). 

1) Certainly, under no circumstances, under-estimate them…
You can’t put them in a box and tell them they have to follow a certain set of rules that characterises them as an Aspie. If I take you guys back to my first blog article, I compared Asperger’s to a Sheldon/Spock kind of character. Can I take that back? Because even then, I was putting Dale into a box.

Dale, when given the chance, can be incredibly emotional and compassionate. Yes, sometimes he may come across blunt, spockish or even rude (which is why he’ll ask me to veto his messages when unsure if he’s coming across correctly). There have been times when he’s said something to me, thought he said it wrong and upset me and would hence worry about it. Me knowing him quite well and knowing he hasn’t got a bad bone in his funny body generally doesn’t assume anything out of sorts with his messages unless I know for definite he’s not okay. 

When I worry about him most of the time its worrying about him worrying. When Dale worries, it’s not a ‘Deal With It’ situation. It’s working it our strategically and showing him that it’s gonna work out. For example, when I first started seeing Dale, he would check his oven and stove, even if he hadn’t used it in one or two days which was normal for him, every time before he went to bed. I would catch him staring out his oven, checking, double checking, triple checking maybe even quadruple checking that the oven was off. Even then, if he still wasn’t sure he would double check the knobs and check they were set to ‘Off’. He’s now at the stage of just a thirty-second glance at the oven if he’s used it that day to make sure it’s off. 

We eventually got him to the state of mind of logically thinking that if he hadn’t used it since the last time he checked it was off, he won’t check it. 

But, he’ll surprise me when he doesn’t worry about an issue that I was so sure that he’d worry about. Often he’ll make a point that he’s “come a long way since a year ago” and I have to admit that he’s definitely a stronger man emotionally. He’ll say it’s because of me but I think he would have gotten here with or without me.

2) Romance isn’t out of the question…
We’ve just had Valentines Day, and Dale surprised me with an incredibly romantic day (due to work, we had to have our Valentines day on the 15th instead). He took me to see Deadpool (I don’t care what anybody says, it totally was a Valentines Day Date film) and then in the evening he took me to a restaurant. 

Not just any old restaurant, but the one where we had our first ‘official’ date nearly 1 year ago. He had planned for us to recreate our first date with new memories. He even sat us on the exact table where we ate. I couldn’t have asked for anything more than what he gave me. Of course it wasn’t exactly like our first date, because there wasn’t that ‘first date’ awkwardness. We already knew each other and we just talked normal things. There wasn’t ‘awkward silences’. There were pauses for the admiration of the man that sat in front of me.

He also bought me flowers (beautiful, lush pink roses) and even a DC Comics© ‘Harley Quinn’ figure, (which by the way, is thee best villain-sidekick in all comic book history). He bought me a card which was a funny topic of conversation because he bought me one with a ‘motherboard/logicboard’ design on (some technical weirdy stuff) which is so him, and I bought him a Panda card, which is so me.

Don’t assume that Asperger’s means NO Romance! You’ll be proven wrong!

3) They aren’t stone…
A common characteristic of Asperger’s is a stubborn-like personality. Some, even with Dale, once they have a routine set in their head, it’s very hard to shift or alter, even if you’re trying to alter it for the better of them. And while yes, Dale doesn’t like sudden and dramatic change (he doesn’t break down but he’ll just withdraw a few moments to recalculate the situation), he accepts it. 

Now, Dale does (self admittedly) cope with his Asperger’s quite well and, we both think, better than some people that we know with either diagnosed Asperger’s or suspected Asperger’s, so don’t assume that ‘because Dale can do it, all Aspie’s can’. Even with Dale, we have to take a minute to either reassess together or me just give him his space to reassess himself. When the change is too sudden or he wasn’t expecting a result because of a miscalculation, it can spiral him into an Anxiety Attack. This did happen today, and he’s quite exhausted because of it.

If you’re going to change the routine, make sure you give time for recalculations. 

4) Normal and Mundane just isn’t Aspie…
Haha, this one is a fantastic one. Dating Dale can sometimes be like dating five different people all in one body, and I have to say, it’s pretty exciting. Dale is a child at heart. We joke that he’s 29 going on 4 because some of his hobbies and personality traits are so varied. He can be that cheeky little boy sticking his fingers into the Nutella jar, painting his face and probably the walls with chocolate spread, and then he can be that caring, responsible 29 year old cleaning up after the cheeky little boy with Dettol and a cloth. 

We made a Bucket List today of all the things that we want to do in our lifetime. One of Dale’s was to drive a Steam Train. When writing that particular one, he very happily told me that that would be the one time he would not mind getting dirty and not wanting to have a shower immediately after. That there, is my fun cheeky boy. And then right at the top of his Bucket List was his wish to study a PhD. He said that if I began earning enough to support us (and maybe a family), he would love to do that. There is my caring, responsible boyfriend in tow.

5) Unpredictable Predictability… 
As much as I would love to say I can predict Dale’s every breath, I’d probably be lying. Most of the time I can predict him.We entertain ourselves quite a bit with sticking our tongues out at each other… at the same time. In that sense I can predict him. I pretty much know what he’s thinking most of the time. I know when he’s overthinking things, I know when he’s worrying, I know when he’s going to be an idiot and I know when he’s going to make some pun related to some mundane chore. 

What entertains me most, is when I think I’ve predicted him, but then he does the unpredicted version of the predicted:

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The ‘Sexy Librarian’

He came to visit me in my University City a couple of months ago, and we were joking around with my phone camera. I told him to give me a sexy pose, and while knowing he would jokingly over-pose a sexy pose, I didn’t expect the ‘sexy-librarian’ pose. That set me off laughing. It’s the perfect pout that he gave the camera which either tells me he spends too much time in the mirror or takes OTT posing seriously that makes this picture worth all the roses in the world. 

The other day in his flat, he was trying to make me laugh so he decided to grab my attention with a ‘Sexy Walk’ (why does everything seem to be sexy with this guy?). Commence strutting like a naked-drag queen in a Sailor Strip Bar. He unfortunately strained a muscle in his leg which brought him to a halt, but he was quite pleased with the resulting belly exploding laughter that escaped my person (I was laughing at the strut, not him hurting himself). 

I feel so blessed every moment I’m with him to even know this guy. He’s the light of my life and not a boring moment passes with him. I’m excited to be celebrating being this wonderful mans girlfriend for 1 year on March 29th and deeply look forward to many more years to celebrate with him.

Happy Valentines Day My Love x

And Happy Valentines Day to all you guys too!

#LoveAnAspie